Addictions
by invisible-nobody15
Summary: "No matter if you're always seeking sex, staring at the bottom of a bottle, or stealing your parents' painkillers. It's always unhealthy, and there's always a reason behind it." A ShikaTema story that brings a message (and cuteness).
1. Prologue

Prologue

Smoking. Pills. Alcohol. Self-harm. Purging. Sex.

Every addiction is unique. They provide a person release in different ways. People develop addictions for various reasons. But every addictions has a common factor: none of them are healthy. No matter if you're always seeking sex, staring at the bottom of a bottle, or stealing your parents' painkillers. It's always unhealthy, and there's always a reason behind it.


	2. Not a Problem

**A/N: Sorry that these chapters are so short! They will get longer, pinky promise! It just makes sense to cut it off here.**

 **I have other ShikaTema stories (** _ **ShikaTema in Snapshots**_ **{In Progress},** _ **Why Must We Argue**_ **{One-Shot, Complete), so go check those out!**

Not a Problem

Temari didn't have a problem.

She chose to drink until she forgot her own age. She chose to spend half of her paycheck on bar trips and bottles of sake. She chose that lifestyle. It was all her choice, and she could chose not to do it if she truly wished. That's what she kept telling her concerned brothers. And her boyfriend.

"But don't you want to remember all the fun nights out?" He would ask.

"I can live my life any way I want!" She would answer.

Her life was fine. She was getting along well, and she believed that if it wasn't broken, don't fix it. Temari's job was successful and her peronal life was flourishing like it never had a chance to when she was a child. She was closer to her brothers than ever, and somehow – against everything she ever believed – developed feelings and a successful relationship with Konoha's laziest ninja.

Temari didn't have a problem.

* * *

Shikamaru didn't have a problem.

There was nothing wrong with having a smoke every now and again. The bitter stimulant that made his genius brain get excited. The way it stung the back of his throat in a very pleasing way. The taste that was by all means God awful, but that he loved and kept coming back to.

"I thought you hated the smell and the risks when your sensei smoked!" His girlfriend would yell.

"I was young, and there were a lot of things that I knew nothing about." He would tell her.

There was no reason for people to be upset. It wasn't their body that inhaled the chemicals. It wasn't their money that they spent eight dollars a pack on. It wasn't their sensei that had died because of their shortcomings. Bottom line: it wasn't their life, so they should just stay quiet and worry about their own issues. He was fine.

Shikamaru didn't have a problem.


	3. Downfall

Downfall

"Can you explain what went wrong, sister?"

Temari gulped as she tried to come up with a suitable explanation. Her nerves were shot and her energy was gone. What was she supposed to say? Was there a right answer that he was waiting for? "I'm not sure, Gaara. It just didn't go right."

The Kazekage scrunched his non-existent eyebrows together. "Temari, I know for a fact that you are at least ten times stronger than those ninja were. So why did you lose to them?"

"I told you, I don't know!" Temari said, raising her voice to her brother - something that has never happened. "Maybe I just had a bad flipping day!"

Gaara stood up, slamming his palms on his desk. It had been years since she had been afraid of him, but the anger in his eyes was certainly alarming. "If it was just an off day, then this wouldn't be the fifth mission this week that should have been far too easy, but you failed!"

"Gaara…"

"You were sloppy," he recited, without having to look at the report, "distracted, and ill-looking. Tell me the truth, sister."

Temari crossed her arms, defensively. She had never lied to either of her brothers before, and it was making her feel sick. "Maybe I've caught some bug. I'm sure I'll shake it off soon."

"Of course you did." Kankuro's voice came from the door. "Is that why the shinobi in charge of the mission claims that you smelled like alcohol?"

Gaara's jaw dropped. He moved his gaze from his brother to his sister. The look of hurt, of betrayal, was too much for Temari. It was her _baby brother._ If it had been anybody else… Her eyes began to feel wet. "Is this true, Temari?"

"I was out drinking the night before?" Temari admitted. To her, there was nothing to be ashamed of. She deserved a night out. "I didn't like the hangover that I had the next morning, so I had a few cans before I left."

"You told us that you had your drinking problem under control!" Kankuro roared.

Temari frowned. "It's not a problem, and I do have it under control. I'm not some fucking drunk, Kankuro!"

"Stop." Gaara said sternly and loudly. His deep voice and his tone commanded attention. He spoke gently when he opened his mouth again. "Please leave, Temari."

"Gaara, let's just-″

"Please leave my office, Temari." Gaara said in his usual monotone. But Temari knew him better than most. She could hear the deep pain in his voice; the hurt that it dripped with. Holding her head high, she turned and left the building. She walked through the streets with as much pride as she could.

She ignored the villagers that were trying to be friendly. She passed quickly by the shops she usually stopped by on her way home. She didn't really feel like talking to anyone. With each step closer to home, the more her throat stung as the lump crawled it's way up.

Soon, her actions began to feel mechanical. Unlock from door. Put shoes by enterance. Take of jacket. Walk into kitchen. Get glass out of cupboard. Get bottle from fridge. Pour. Drink. Forget. Forget the pain and the weight of the world. Let the alcohol make you go numb.

* * *

"Babysit?"

Kurenai nodded. "Kakashi had important meetings and Konohamoru's on a mission."

Shikamaru rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm busy too, Kurenai-sensei. I have piles of vital paperwork for the exams that has to be done by morning."

"She loves you, and you babysit her all the time. She'll be fine." Kurenai persuaded. "I'll pick her up as soon as I get back, first thing in the morning."

Shikamaru looked down at the three-year-old who was holding her mother's hand. Shikamaru felt the corners of his lips lift up. Her smile was contagious. "Sure, Kurenai-sensei. Maybe having her around will make doing paperwork bearable."

"Shika!" The child let go of her mother's hand and ran over to Shikamaru, clinging to his leg. She laughed saying goodbye to her mother. Together they made their way to Shikamaru's apartment. Halfway there, Mirai started complaining, so Shikamaru carried her.

He set her down on the carpet and brought out the toybox that he kept kidden (what would people think?) unless Mirai was there. "Play out here, Mirai. Shika has a lot of work to do."

Mirai nodded, but looked around confused. "Aunt Tem." She said, struggling to express her thoughts verbally. "Where Aunt Tem?"

Shikamaru swallowed the lump that appeared in his throat. "She's not here right now, Mirai."

Miarai didn't like his answer, and frowned, whining, "No! Play Aunt Tem!"

Shikamaru exhaled. He glanced down the hall at his home office, growing disheartened at the sight of the stacks of papers with a very short deadline. He couldn't keep arguing with a toddler. Especially about… "Mirai, Temari isn't here. She's three days away. She can't play with you, alright?"

"Shika!" She tugged on his shirt sleeve and handed him a can of Play-Dough. She smiled, expecting him to start making things with it. When he put it down, she whined again, "No! Shika!"

"I can't play, Mirai." He reinstated. "I have so much paperwork that even if I don't eat or sleep, I'll be crunched to get it all done. So please behave,"

She sniffled; the first sign. "No Shika and no Aunt Tem?"

Then, full-blown tears.

She cried and cried. Shikamaru didn't know what was wrong with her. She was normally fairly-well behaved for him. He itched for a smoke, but couldn't do that in front of Mirai. He was her role model. He tried to calm her down, but he could barely hear himself over her cries. Between his relationship, the near-impossible workload, and the screaming child – Shikamaru had enough.

"Mirai, shut up!"

His lungs constricted and he couldn't breathe. The pain in his shoulder and chest – which he had been ignoring – magnified a hundred-fold. He fell onto his knees, clutching his chest. This wasn't normal. He tried to think through the pain. Right before he blacked out, he looked up at the terrified Mirai (had he screamed in pain when he fell?) and gave her an order.

"Go! Run outside and yell, 'help'! Go Mirai!"


	4. People on the Outside

People on the Outside

Kakashi held his head in his hands. He really didn't want to deal with this. The mostly-angry faces of the other four Kage watched him on their respective screens, waiting for his reply. Taking a deep breath, he spoke. "I apologize. I'll make up all of the work myself and get it sent over as quickly as possible."

After a few choice explicatives from the Raikage, everyone signed off. Except for Kakashi and the Kazekage. Gaara remained on the screen, looking at Kakashi. The Hokage didn't waste any time. "Your sister is usually here by now. Is everything alright?"

"Shikamaru never misses Chunin Exam paperwork deadlines." He countered. "Is everything alright?"

Kakashi sighed. "What's been going on, Gaara?"

"My sister is…" Gaara paused, choosing his words carefully. "…currently out of commission."

Kakashi nodded. "So is Shikamaru. He's been hospitalized since last night. That's why none of his work is finished."

Gaara grew confused. "Hospitalized? Did he get hurt on a mission? Does my sister know?"

The Hokage sighed again, shaking his head. "It's a long story, and I don't think that he's had any contact with Temari, considering that he hasn't been awake; anesthesia."

He nodded. "I see. Whatever is wrong, I hope that it turns out alright."

"What happened with Temari?" Kakashi asked, hoping that he wasn't prying too much.

Apparently he was, because Gaara's eyes shifted uncomfortably. "I would rather not say. I'll leave it at, she has a… _problem_ …that she needs to deal with before I send her out on missions again."

"Drugs or alcohol?" Kakashi asked, being smart enough to see through the Kazekage's vague warning.

Gaara sighed. "Alcohol."

"When Shikamaru wakes up, Sakura is going to chew him out." Kakashi began. "She doesn't think that he needs rehab, just other stuff, but she's really done great things with how our hospital hands patients with mental problems – like illness or addiction. It might not be my place to ask, but do you think that Temari could benefit from something like that?"

Surprisingly, Gaara didn't immediately reject the offer. Instead, he closed his eyes and thought, probably weighing the benefits for his sister. He opened his eyes and nodded. "Maybe having someone who knows what their doing help Temari might do her some good."

Kakashi smiled. "Good. When will we be expecting her?"

Gaara smiled back. "In three days."

"Sounds good."

"And what happened to Shikamaru?" he asked. "You can shorten the story."

Kakashi took a deep breath. "According to Sakura, way too much stress on top of his smoking increased his chances of blood clots."

"Meaning?"

"He had a heart attack." The Hokage told him. "Thankfully, it wasn't fatal."

Gaara nodded. "When he wakes up, tell him that I wish him a full recovery – and not just because he's dating my sister. He's a brilliant shinobi."

"I'll make sure to tell him that."

* * *

Ino shook her head. "It's all thanks to Asuma-sensei. That's who Shikamaru got that disgusting habit from."

Sakura laughed. "I think you're being a bit harsh."

"How can you say that? You're a medic too!" Ino declared. "Doesn't someone who smokes make you even a tad bit angry?"

Sakura shrugged. "I mean, as a doctor, I'd advise then not too. But as long as they aren't pregnant or breastfeeding, it ultimately is their choice."

"I know." She caved, looking disappointed. "But he's like my brother. It's hard not to be concerned."

"I understand that. Naruto is the king of harmful choices. And let's not even being talking about Sasuke." She sighed. "Do you know what had Shikamaru so overly stressed?"

Ino shook her head, heart sinking. "I don't. Knowing him, he probably took on more than he can handle. For such a lazy guy, he really has a bad habit of doing that."

"Maybe that's one of the reasons that he smokes." Sakura said, catching Ino's attention. "Some people smoke to relieve stress."

Ino scoffed. "Ironic, huh?"

Her pinkette friend smiled. "On the bright side, he should be up by the end of my lunch break. I know it's your day off, but-."

"Yes." Ino replied before Sakura was finished asking. "I wanna go see him."

Sakura threw out her paper bag. "Then let's go." She grabbed Ino's hand and they ran through the streets of Konoha, feeling like children again. They didn't stop running and laughing until they were outside of his door. Sakura gestured for her to enter. "He may still be out. If he is, he'll be up soon."

Ino nodded and quietly entered the room, shutting the door behind her. One glance at Shikamaru and she could tell that he was awake, but pretending not to be. "Moron."

He smirked, eyes still closed. "Genius, actually."

She sighed and sat in the chair next to his bed. "What kind of genius gives himself a heart attack?"

Eyes still closed. "I didn't mean to."

"How'd it happen?" she asked. "What went wrong?"

"I think I nearly scared Mirai half to death." He said, avoiding the question. "I'll have to see her later and apologize."

Ino frowned, and then realized that he couldn't see her. "Shikamaru…"

"All of the paperwork for the exams arrived late, so I only had one night to get it all done. Not my fault." He explained.

"Is that all?" she prodded. "That doesn't seem like enough to cause something like this."

He hesitated, scrunching up his face. "I was babysitting Mirai and she was being unusually difficult. I…even snapped at her. She's probably mad at me."

"And these two things together was just too much?" she prompted. He was just drugged. She might be able to milk him for information.

Long pause. "Yeah."

Ino gave up, sensing his distress. The man had a heart attack only sixteen hours ago. Maybe milking him wasn't a good idea after all. "Does Temari know about this? I know that if something happened to Sai, I'd want to know."

Shikamaru visibly tensed. "I doubt that anyone told her. Or that she'd want to know."

The blonde Yamanaka frowned. "Did something happen between you two?"

Shikamaru finally opened his eyes. He looked at Ino as sternly as a guy just off anesthesia could. "That's none of your business, Ino."

"Overload of work, very difficult toddler, and relationship problems." Ino summed up. "Geez, I'm getting a heart attack just thinking about it."

He sighed, closing his eyes again. "Do you know when I get out of here?"

"Tomorrow!" Sakura's muffled voice came through the door.

"Another night in this uncomfortable bed." He complained. "And I'm not going to be drugged through it this time."

Their conversation ended when Sakura walked in. Shikamaru raised the back of his bed to look at her. She had a puzzled look on her face. Ino rose, the atmosphere in the room having grown unexpectedly serious. "Sakura? Did something happen to a patient?"

She looked directly at Shikamaru, ignoring Ino's question. "What's Temari's problem?"

"Where do you want me to begin?"

Sakura didn't bother to retort, and only elaborated. "Kakashi just told me that Temari's coming here for a rehab program, and to expect her in three days."

Shikamaru's eyebrows scrunched. "Why would Temari help you run a rehab program?"

The pinkette shook her head. "Shikamaru, you don't understand."

"Words never uttered." Ino added under her breath.

"She's not helping me run it," she continued, "she's participating in it."

The surprise on Shikamaru's face was not at all hidden. Seconds later, she scrunched his eyebrows and frowned, muttering, "Fuck, Temari."


	5. Is A Problem

Is A Problem

Ino had a problem.

Her hair was thinner than it used to be, although she wasn't sure that anybody noticed. Sometimes she would nearly black out by doing mundane things. She wasn't even sure how she was still going on missions. She would smile and enjoy herself, but was reminded of her inadequacies everywhere she looked. The pain and clenching in her stomach was never satisfied. Her boyfriend never said anything. Shikamaru did, albeit unintentional.

"Ino, you need to eat more." He would say.

"I'm on a diet." She would reply.

She was on a diet when she was younger. But it had gotten out of hand. Less than a thousand calories a day became less than five hundred. She ate one meal a day, and maybe a snack if she felt adventurous. She formed a rulebook that grew pages long, and then abandoned it all - replacing it with ' _just lose weight_ '. The pain and the shaking, the nauseating dizziness - Ino knew it was worth it, to keep her skinny, because she's never skinny enough.

Ino had a problem.

* * *

Kakashi had a problem.

He thought he was okay, honestly. After the Fourth War, he was doing better than ever. His scars began to fade - to the point where you wouldn't be able to see them unless you knew they were there. But for some reason, after Naruto's wedding, he just felt bad. He couldn't describe it, _he just felt bad_. A few minutes later, he was tearing the arms on his skin with a blade - tearing up but yet strangely enjoying the burning pain. He watched the blood appear almost instantly. Kakashi had relapsed. And Guy had noticed.

"I thought you had gotten better, Kakashi." He commented.

"That's not what it is, Guy. Just mission injuries." He replied.

He wasn't a teenager, and he wasn't a girl. This wasn't something he should've gone through as a kid and especially not now. The hallucinations hadn't returned, and he had nothing to feel bad about. His life was great. He was Hokage, was closer to his friends than ever before, and had even gotten married in secret. He was fine - it was just a one-time relapse. But two days later, he cut again…. and again, and again. This wasn't good. He couldn't add to his inpatient history by going back down the suicidal rabbit hole.

Kakashi had a problem.


	6. Dysfunction

Dysfunction

Temari grumbled. She didn't want to be here.

Some rehab program in the Hidden Leaf wasn't going to get her to change her lifestyle. She'd been drinking since she was fourteen, and it had never been a problem. So why was it a problem now? Because Gaara had decided it was. And since he was Kazekage, he could make Temari do almost whatever he wanted – including banning her from taking missions until she was 'healthy'.

She loved her brothers more than anything in the world...

But she was healthy, God damn it!

And of course, not even a full minute after she walked through the front gate, she saw him. The main reason that she didn't want to be in Konoha, the reason that she had felt so hopeless lately: Shikamaru. He saw her too, and they locked eyes for no more than a second before looking away like nothing happened. Unfortunately, the little girl holding his hand had different plans.

"Aunt Tem!" She yelled, pointing and hopping. Shikamaru groaned and then whispered something that she could hear before - "No! Aunt Tem!"

Unable to refuse the toddler's request, Shikamaru walked over, throwing Temari's emotions into a whirlpool. He cleared his throat. "Mirai missed you, so I figured I'd bring her over to say 'hi'."

On cue, Mirai waved her chubby hand, an enormous smile on her face. "Hello, Aunt Tem!"

Not even her contagious hapiness was enough for Temari. She forced a smile and replied, "Hello, Mirai. How've you been?"

"I good." She said, and, to Temari's surprise, continued. "Shika sick."

Temari raised an eyebrow and looked at Shikamaru, her curiosity and worry taking over. "Shika sick?"

Shikamaru hesitated in answering. It was clear from the look he scolded Mirai with that they had hit a weak spot. Not that it showed on his face. Not that much ever did. After an entire awkward minute of silence, he finally spoke. "I, uh... I had a mild heart attack a few days ago."

"What!" Temari screamed, unable to believe what she was hearing. "Why didn't you tell me about this?"

"Because I don't really have a reason to." He said, and Temari reaslized her mistake. Why did everything have to be so awkward with him? "And since we're questioning people, what did you do that got you into Sakura's rehab program?"

Temari clecnched her fists. She doesn't get to hear about his heart attack, but he was told about her rehab? "I didn't do anything. Gaara overreacted."

She began to walk away, but Shikamaru grabbed her arm. "How much have you been drinking, Tem?"

Tem... Temari felt a painful tugging in her chest, and she ignored it. "That's none of your business, Nara. It stopped being your business two weeks ago."

The bitterness in her words was much more obvious than she wanted it to be, but it served its purpose. He let go of her arm looking angry. "Mirai missed you," he said, "and I'm sure that she'd love if her Aunt Temari worked hard to get better."

Mirai, who until then had been listening to the conversation with a a blank and innocent face, smiled. "Get good soon!"

Temari picked her up, causing her to giggle. She kissed her cheek. "Of course I will, Mirai."

* * *

Shikamaru left his check-up with Sakura fairly quickly. After his encounter with Temari, he dropped Mirai off with her mother and went to his appointment at the hospital. He didn't talk to Sakura much, and she didn't force him to. Soon enough, he left, still not cleared to go back to regular missions. That means strictly office work with Kakashi, even though paperwork was what got him hurt in the first place.

To be fair, Kakashi was trying his hardest to give him light work.

But for the rest of the day, he had Temari on his mind. He didn't know why he bothered to worry about her when she was just going to be an ass in return. She was so kind to Mirai, but anything she felt for him seemed to be gone...

Except for the outburst about his heart attack.

As much as he didn't want to admit it, Ino was right. One component of stress in his life was his failing relationship. Sakura said that if he absolutely wasn't going to quit smoking (which he wasn't) and didn't have any clot-risk meds to eliminate (which he didn't) then he had to work on eliminating stresses. A smaller workload from the alliance and Kakashi, as well as taking on Mirai less often, solved two of his three big stresses. Now all he had to deal with was Temari.

He loved her – he honestly and truly did. He always knew that he would have to get married one day, being the next head of the clan, but not until the incident in the Land of Silence did he ever consider going out with the feisty Sand Sibling. And the past year with her, now being more than just his co-worker, has been one of the best of his life. He loved everything about her – her hair, her eyes, her attitude; it was all amazing, and worth the trouble, as far as he was concerned.

God... she's turning him into some cliché guy from a chick-flick.

And yet, for some reason, she didn't want to marry him. He genuinely cares for her, but he was sure that anything she felt was gone – if she had felt anything in the first place. He had, after careful consideration and a conversation with Choji, proposed to her two weeks prior. Against everything he had believed, she had said no to him and ran out of the Nara Forest crying. He had chased her down, only to get into an argument. She quickly retreated to Suna.

Technically, they were still together. They never officially broke-up, and her brothers haven't come to beat him up yet. He took that as a good sign. But with her love of alcohol suddenly getting worse, Shikamaru couldn't help but feel responsible. If he hadn't gone and proposed to her they'd still be happy and she'd be healthy. And her attitude toward him earlier vanquished any hope of getting her to sit down and talk with him. So how was he supposed to resolve this major stress in his life?

He didn't know.

He took out a cigarette to help him relax a little bit.


End file.
